Not many people talk about how deep emotional neglect hurts you.
I’m afraid to want things. I’m afraid to ask for help. I’m afraid to tell someone something if they seem in a bad mood. I can’t process when someone is nice to me. I can’t handle rejection, but my brain literally short circuits if someone gives me a compliment to the point where sometimes the rejection is better.
There are lots of overlap with emotional abuse, but emotional neglect hurts just as much. And it’s even worse that it usually goes undetected, so a lot of people can’t tell they’re being neglected until it’s too late.
“The more I work, the more I want to be a true artist, rather than have ambitions to be a worldly star. It must have been difficult to see me as an artist when I was a girl who had just debuted. But as myself now, I think that I am really here as an artist. It could be that with my influence, someone has received energy, was comforted and found renewed will for life. I had the same experiences too. That’s why this work is so precious.”
89.08.01
✨ wishing the happiest birthday to our radiant pany who is finally comfortable in her own skin~
#HAPPYTIFFANYYOUNGDAY
“I’ve been wondering,” Lena strides past Kara, tugging her along like a rip current.
“Yeah?” Kara follows her best friend’s perfume intuitively, not a thought in her head.
“Your boots.”
“What about them?”
“I’m working on your new suit,” Lena explains, so casually. As if it didn’t make Kara’s chest swell with that uniquely flustered sense of pride and importance. Being the sole focus on Lena Luthor’s attention could do that to a person. Kara especially. “And I need to make a decision about footwear.”
“I’m all ears,” Kara grins. She parks herself against the desk where Lena’s now docked her tablet. “What have you been wondering?”
Lena turns away from the device and flashes Kara a sly smile. Her keen gaze sweeps deliberately down Kara’s front then glides back up slowly, settling for a prolonged second at the place where the tops of Kara’s boots kiss her thighs.
Kara’s never felt quite so naked in her suit before. She swallows.
“They’re thigh high,” Lena observes rather unnecessarily, sounding a little strangled all of a sudden. “That can’t be practical.”
Frowning, Kara straightens. She likes her boots the way they are. When she crosses her arms in front of her chest to protest, Lena’s eyes fly to her biceps. They widen just briefly before bouncing back up to her face. Lena plows forward somewhat breathlessly.
“I’ve been trying to identify the benefits but I honestly can’t say I’ve found any.” Her eyes drop once more to Kara’s thighs. “Coverage above your ankles is redundant now that your suit has pants with pierce and abrasion resistant nano fibers. Any extension of the leather above the knee only serves to limit range of motion.”
Lena takes a breath, seeming uncharacteristically anxious. Concerned, Kara tunes in to her heartbeat. She does that sometimes, checks in if she thinks something’s wrong. And maybe also when she craves the soothing rhythm of Lena’s warmth from across the city. She finds the young Luthor’s heart rate a tick higher than normal. Strange.
Lena licks her lips, still staring intently at the juncture where red leather gives way to blue fabric.
“And I can only imagine they…” she tilts her head appraisingly, hesitates on a thought, “they get a little snug if your leg muscles are… um, tight.”
Kara’s not exactly sure what’s bothering Lena, but the heated focus of her stare is enough to make the Super fidgety, feeling warm all over. She settles back against Lena’s desk once more and crosses one leg over the other.
Lena’s eyes track the movement sharply, never once glancing away. In the background, Kara hears that familiar rhythm ratchet another beat faster. Hm. Could Kara have caused that?
Experimentally, Kara slowly flexes the muscles of one leg then the other, pretending to settle into her spot. Sure enough, she notices the rim of her boots gently digging into her skin as her quads expand. She also notices how Lena’s breath escapes her in an urgent little puff. Kara watches intently as the young Luthor bites unconsciously at the corner of her lower lip.
Kara shifts her legs again subtly and Lena swallows. It’s audible even without superhearing. Kara’s crinkle gathers between her brows, perplexed by Lena’s behavior. The engineer hasn’t said a word in over five seconds, not even to conclude her observations and yet she seems so fixated on where Kara’s boots reach her thighs and—oh. Oh.
Before Kara can help herself, her grin turns smug. “What’s your point?”
Dazedly, Lena shakes her head. She blinks up at discerning blue eyes. “That perhaps the tall boots aren’t worth athe extra effort.”
“I dunno Lena,” Kara uncrosses her arms, slow as molasses, and takes a step into her friend’s space. “What do you think?”
Even flushing at the increased proximity, Lena doesn’t step away. She simply tilts her chin up, meeting Kara’s gaze through sinfully long lashes.
“W-what do I think?” Lena repeats. She must be flustered—Lena Luthor does not make a habit of speaking extraneously. “I… It doesn’t matter what I think, Kara. It’s your suit.”
She’s speaking in a near-whisper now and the tenuous intimacy in her voice is tying knots in Kara’s throat.
“I care what you think,” the Super insists, preening at the way her height allows her to tower ever so slightly over Lena’s figure.
Lena doesn’t answer right away, just continues to study her, so Kara helps out. She tilts a degree closer and delights in the way Lena’s eyes flutter closed just briefly.
“And I have a hunch you like the boots,” Kara suggests quietly.
An attractive blush splashes high across Lena’s cheekbones and Kara smiles as she watches it spread. Lena is so arrestingly beautiful.
Eventually, after a quavering but measured breath, Lena answers.
“And what if I do?”
It’s whisper quiet, but Kara thrills at the affirmation, a jolt of elation sizzling down her spine. She hums thoughtfully, inching forward until their chests are almost touching. Lena’s eyes won’t leave her face, darting between her mouth and darkening blue eyes as the sound of her heartbeat thunders in Kara’s ears.
“Then I think we keep the boots.”
Ever the consummate professional, Lena scowls. “No matter how much I may like them, they’re still impractical. Form should follow function, not the other way around.”
“I wouldn’t call them functionless, Lena.” Kara regards her for a second, then leans down until they’re cheek to cheek. She drinks in the sound of Lena’s breath hitching and speaks softly against the shell of her ear. “Not when they make you look at me like that.”
“That’s hardly an intended function, Kara,” Lena counters, albeit weakly, swaying slightly into the scant space between their bodies.
“Maybe not intentional, but I think it’s my favorite function yet,” Kara purrs. She pauses for effect, letting her voice drop to a gravelly rumble she’s never heard from herself before. “I like having your eyes on me.”
The admission shoots through them like a current, electrifying the already charged air. Both women tense, green eyes boring into blue as a spark of understanding arcs between them and sets aflame something glorious and long overdue.
The silence drags on, pregnant and crackling, until Lena softly clears her throat. She looks away with a clench of her jaw and Kara openly admires the way it juts her features into gorgeous relief.
Kara feels movement at her abdomen and glances down in surprise to find Lena’s fingers gently disentangling themselves from her belt. When Lena had grabbed hold of her was anybody’s guess. Lena speaks just as Kara begins to peel her hand away from where it had taken residence on Lena’s waist—quite without her knowledge.
Tenderly, meaningfully, Lena flattens a hand over Kara’s stomach. She lingers there for a moment, a hopeful entreaty offered in her eyes, then steps away. She throws Kara a diffident smile and turns back to her work with nothing but that enticing color adorning her cheeks.
Eventually, without looking up from her tablet, Lena shrugs.
